When more than one child in a family is navigating OCD or anxiety, therapy can start to feel like a shared experience - even when each child has their own therapist, their own exposures, and their own needs. And while there’s beauty in having someone who “gets it,” there can also be unspoken tension.

You might notice siblings subtly comparing progress. One might try to “outdo” the other’s exposure. One might feel stuck and discouraged while the other seems to be moving forward.

Let’s pause right there and say this together: Healing is not a race. And progress isn’t linear. Especially when it comes to OCD and anxiety.

Everyone's Brain Has a Different Learning Curve

At The LiveWell Collective, we use evidence-based tools like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), CBT, and ACT, but even the best tools work differently depending on the person using them.

Two siblings might both be in therapy for OCD, but their themes, compulsions, and responses to treatment may look wildly different. One might be facing scrupulosity and wrestling with intrusive thoughts, while the other is working on contamination fears or panic attacks. And even if their fears sound similar on the outside, the internal experience can be entirely different.

So if you're noticing one sibling progressing faster or responding differently - that’s not a red flag. It’s reality. And it’s okay.

What matters more than pace is consistency, courage, and compassion. Especially toward yourself.

Creating a Supportive Home Environment

Here’s the truth: even when both siblings are in therapy, each one deserves to feel like their treatment is tailored just for them. And while some cross-talk and shared encouragement can be a good thing, here’s what we often recommend:

Normalize Conversations About OCD — Not Comparisons

Create space for siblings to talk openly about what they’re learning in therapy but without forcing it. Make it okay to say:

“I noticed myself starting a compulsion today, and I caught it.”
“I had a really hard time resisting checking.”
“Here’s something I want to work on next.”

These conversations help build awareness and give language to experiences that are hard to name (and often isolating). But they should never be used to measure one sibling’s success against the other. Progress can be quiet. And messy. And deeply personal.

If you're a parent, model language like:

“What’s hard for you might be different than what’s hard for your sister - and that’s okay.”
“We’re not keeping score. We’re building skills.”

Learn to Spot Warning Signs (Together)

Rather than only reacting when things are flaring up, families can learn to notice and name early warning signs together. Normalize these check-ins:

“I’m noticing I’ve been avoiding more things lately.”
“I’ve been asking a lot more reassurance questions.”
“I haven’t been practicing my exposures.”

Helping siblings and parents learn to gently flag these patterns, without shame and criticism, turns the family system into a supportive and proactive team.

You might even create a shared family signal, like a thumbs up or keyword, that means: “I’m noticing OCD is showing up right now. How can I help you respond differently?”

Build a Creative and Accessible Support System at Home

Sometimes the best support isn’t about what we say - it’s about what we see and do. Here are some simple but powerful ways to make your home therapy-friendly for both siblings:

Hang a visual list of coping strategies or tools on the fridge or wall
Keep ERP logs or anxiety rating scales accessible in a shared binder or posted clipboard
Create a “skills station” with fidgets, journals, exposure cards, or mindfulness activities
Use dry erase boards or sticky notes for daily goals or exposure ideas
Schedule family-wide “ERP challenge days” where everyone (adults included!) does something outside their comfort zone

When support becomes part of the environment, not just the conversation, it removes pressure and invites practice.

A Note Just for You (If You’re a Sibling Reading This)

Hey there - if you’re reading this because you’re in therapy, or your sibling is, or both of you are... first of all, we want to say: you’re doing something really brave.

Being in therapy isn’t always easy. And when your brother or sister is also doing it? That can make things feel even more complicated. Maybe you feel like they’re ahead of you. Or maybe you’re trying to be strong for them while working on your own stuff. Maybe it feels a little unfair that both of you are struggling in different ways. That’s all normal.

Here’s what we want you to remember:

You’re allowed to go at your own pace. Someone else’s progress doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It’s okay to ask for space and focus on your own work.
You can be supportive without doing it for them. Saying “I see you trying” or “I’m proud of you” goes a long way sometimes.
You’re not alone. Really. Other siblings are going through this too, even if they don’t talk about it out loud.

So keep showing up. Keep practicing your skills. Keep being kind (especially to yourself!).

And if you ever need help figuring out how to support your sibling and take care of you, ask your therapist or a trusted adult. That’s what we’re here for!

Final Thoughts

When two (or more) siblings are in treatment, it can be a gift, but it also requires intentional boundaries. Kids and teens need permission to go at their own pace, freedom to focus on their own exposures, and reassurance that they don’t have to be anyone else’s benchmark.

What they do need? Encouragement. Creativity. Accountability. And sometimes, just knowing their family is learning to face OCD together, one small step at a time.

At The LiveWell Collective, we’re here to help each member of your family feel empowered to walk their own path, with support at their side.

You’re Not Alone — and You Don’t Have to Figure This Out on Your Own

Whether your family is just starting therapy or deep into the work, remember this: you don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to keep showing up - with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to grow, together.

At The LiveWell Collective, we’re here to support the whole family system. That means helping each child build skills, guiding parents through the messy middle, and making room for siblings to support each other without losing sight of their own journey.

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Not a Race: How Siblings in Therapy Can Support Each Other Without Losing Sight of Their Own Path