What It Really Means to “Sit With It” in OCD & Anxiety Therapy
If your child struggles with OCD or anxiety, you’ve probably heard the phrase “just sit with it.” But what does that really mean? And why would a therapist encourage your child not to “fix” or avoid their uncomfortable feelings, but to stay with them instead?
At The LiveWell Collective, we use this skill often in exposure and response prevention (ERP) and anxiety treatment because learning to “sit with it” can be one of the most powerful tools your child develops.
Why “Sitting With It” Matters
Anxiety and OCD feed off the urge to escape discomfort. The brain says: “If I avoid this scary thought, feeling, or situation, I’ll feel better.” And in the short term, that’s true. Avoidance or compulsions can bring quick relief. But in the long run, those habits strengthen anxiety and OCD, keeping your child stuck in the cycle.
“Sitting with it” teaches the opposite lesson: that uncomfortable emotions, thoughts, and sensations don’t have to be avoided or solved. They can be felt, noticed, and tolerated without giving in to compulsions or avoidance.
What It Looks Like in Practice
Supporting kids, teens, and young adults in learning to “sit with it” often looks like walking them through steps such as:
Acknowledging the feeling instead of pushing it away.
Noticing physical sensations (Is my heart racing? Do I feel tension in my stomach?) without judgment.
Naming the emotion (anxious, worried, embarrassed, uncertainty, dread, disgust).
Letting it exist without labeling it good or bad.
Practicing compassion toward themselves (“This is hard, and I can do hard things”).
Staying present and mindful by allowing the moment to pass naturally instead of rushing to “fix” it, change it, or correct their internal experience in an unhelpful way.
A Skill That Builds Strength Over Time
“Sitting with it” doesn’t make anxiety or OCD magically disappear. Instead, it helps the brain learn a new lesson: feelings come and go, and I can handle them. In ERP, this is called habituation and inhibitory learning and over time, the brain learns that the feared outcome doesn’t actually happen (and to handle the uncertainty that it might/might not happen), or that the discomfort isn’t nearly as dangerous as it feels.
Think of it as rewiring: every time your child resists a compulsion or stays present with an anxious feeling, their brain is forming new connections that weaken the old OCD/anxiety pathways. Just like strengthening a muscle, each practice round builds resilience, confidence, and trust in themselves.
For Parents
It can be hard to watch your child struggle with big feelings without stepping in to comfort or “rescue” them. But supporting your child in learning to “sit with it” is one of the best gifts you can give. You’re helping them build skills that last long after therapy ends.
If you’re curious about how ERP and anxiety therapy can help your child develop this skill, our team at The LiveWell Collective is here to guide you.
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today and learn how we can support your child and family.
